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| She reminds me of my friend Teresa. I found this painting by Alexander Hodyukov on FaceBook today
Friday
afternoon 2/22/13
|
The
blue sky just returned altho dotted with clouds and cloud banks to the west and
to the south.
Got
back under the covers after putting up my coffee and serving the kitties their
cat food.
When
I got up again to go to 'puter I added 3 more long sleeved tops on top of my
sweater, plus another skirt under my skirt.
Now
I see there is sunshine all over my backyard so it may not be so very cold out
there.
But
I am enjoying my indoor day. Yesterday had so much activity in it for me and
was so much the opposite of the life I have been leading for past 6 weeks, that
even tho I loved it all, and it was all so enjoyable, and FUN. (I forgot all about fun, I haven't had any in
ages.)
It
was all such a change, that I woke up this morning deciding to spend today
resting up from it.
One
thing which was different about yesterday is in the afternoon my high school
boyfriend called me back. Daniel was my boyfriend all thru high school and we
stayed friends till 1998, when we had fight on the phone and have been out of
touch all this time.
So
it was absolute bliss for me to have long conversation with him yesterday, he
called while I was lounging in the yard.
He
is the first guy since Bill left that I have had long interesting conversation
with.
Jim
has no interests, just football
And
if I talk about myself, or my ideas, or my perception, he tunes me out.
Altho
it was nice updating Daniel about my life, he knows my whole family. My
favorite part was really him sharing all his perceptions about things with me.
He
has so many interests, and they all happen to be interests I share.
O
the joy of an interesting conversation, and with someone you are close to and
know so well and knows you so well.
Of
course he doesn't know who I am now
but
that is OK
I
realized when I woke up this morning that I have been wanting new relationships
in my life.
And
I realized I don't have to meet new people, instead I can have brand new
relationships with my old friends.
Get
to know who they are now, and get to know them so much better. I really do want
to get to know them.
And
in the evening to my surprise my friend Teresa called me back.
When
Arlene said her car was sideswiped on January 16, I said "that is my
friend Teresa's birthday but even tho she moved to Tucson
But
because of that email I realized I can call Teresa on the phone in the
evenings. She is not on email.
When
I long so much for a phone conversation with a girlfriend, I am now down to
only 2 girlfriends who return my phone calls, the rest got busy with their life
and forgot about me.
Even
tho I appreciate it very much when my 2 friends do call, they are busy, and it
is rare.
So
it seemed like a wonderful idea that I can call my friend Teresa, we can talk
on the phone.
I
left a message two evenings ago, "would you like a chit chat."
And
yesterday evening she called me back.
She
immediately launched into the minutiae of her life, she likes unburdening
herself.
None
of it interested me, her drama that she has to pay so much for her bottled
water now etc.
But
I was completely happy hearing her go on and on, because I felt all thru it how
much my heart loves her.
I
really am closer to her than to anyone in my own family, it is like being with
a sister (altho I never had a sister). My love for her is so simple and
complete
So
I was content
But
then she made a booboo. It's not her fault. She loves me as much as I love her,
and she says she is concerned about me living alone without Bill and my dog.
And
my back door and back windows open all the time.
And
she began to scare me.
I
couldn't stand it, and I thought maybe calling her was big mistake.
I
interrupted her and said “I am not into fear.”
But
she wasn't ready to let it go.
I
tried to respond rationally 2 or 3 times but finally I got her to stop, or she
realized she was upsetting me.
She
really is a sensitive, perceptive, loving girl.
It's
not her fault that she sees the world the way the world sees the world.
And
then to my huge surprise she said “I love your writing.”
I
practically fell over with joy.
Each
time I write a new book I have Jim drive me to her mailbox so I can put it in.
But
she has never read them, she is too busy.
She
says she only likes to read to gain information.
But
last night she said whenever my new book arrives she does read a few pages in
it.
I
was overwhelmed with joy when she said “I love your writing.”
And
then she said she loved the birthday card I gave her. Her birthday was last
month and I no longer have old birthday cards around, so I had Jim stop at
Petsmart so I could buy one for her on her birthday last month.
I
asked the guy who worked there to suggest one he likes
He
said he likes the funny ones.
I
had always given Teresa schmaltzy ones, she is my best friend.
It
seemed so daring to give Teresa that funny one about the dog, altho she has
always had a dog.
I
asked the check out girl if she thinks my friend will like it, she said “yes.”
I
showed it to Jim in the car, “will she like it?”
He
said “yes.”
And
Teresa told me last evening she loved it. It made her laugh all day. It brought
joy to her birthday. It made it a wonderful birthday.
I
was so very very happy to hear this, music to my ears.
And
this morning I had the same thought about Teresa that I had about Daniel.
Instead
of hoping I will meet new people so I can have more friends, maybe I can
renovate these old friendships.
Get
a chance to have a brand new friendship with both these old friends.
Teresa
is a good girl, gradually she will notice what upsets me and what makes me
happy, and move in that direction.
And
I may have a chance to get to know her at a deeper level too. She is actually a
brilliant woman, but she is obsessed with health matters, a topic which
interests me not at all.
But
gradually I may learn how to move her into topics which interest me.
So
when I woke up this morning I thought “maybe yesterday was a turning point in
my life.”
I
love you
Annie
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