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| Irises in artist's garden by Claude Monet |
I
did have an odd evening last night when I was alone with my thoughts. On one
hand I thought "I can't go on like this just chit chatting with my Higher
Self, I want people in my life I want to have fun."
My
Higher Self said "I'm fun."
"No
you're not," I said "you're not fun."
"I
am too fun" she said.
"You're
no fun at all" I said.
"I
am lots of fun" she said.
Somehow
it made me giggle arguing with My Higher Self about whether she is fun or not.
Me insisting she is no fun at all, and her insisting she is so much fun.
The
argument made me giggle.
And
after that I noticed my sense of humor has come back for the first time in 6
weeks. It is the first time I laughed at my life again or laughed at myself. It
seemed before my life hit bottom or whatever it did for past 6 weeks, went thru
a tunnel, had a transformation, before that when I had regular life, I did have
a sense of humor about my life. I wasn't always so dead serious.
My
thoughts were not this intense.
But
after My Higher Self insisted she is a lot of fun to hang out with, I will
admit my sense of humor came back.
First
I thought about my teen age boyfriend Mitch who had called me few days ago late
at night and promised he would call me back. He hasn't called me back yet but I
keep looking forward to the phone call. Even if it never happens I notice it is
fun to look forward to a phone call.
He
had called me because I had mailed him a few of my books and he had actually
started to read my little women's lib book. He called because he had read first
2 or 3 chapters and wanted to tell me he really liked it.
He
has a jazz program on the public radio station in a small town in California
Before
I sent him my books I told him one was on womens liberation. That was the one
he was interested in. He said he had interviewed an author on his show about
womens liberation.
So
when he called me few nights ago and said he's reading my womens lib book and
really liked it.
He
said, “You used one word I didn't know what it meant. All your words are so
simple but this word I didn't know what it meant. Wait I will find it!”
He
looked for it and said “the word is apotheosis, what does that mean?”
I
said “I don't know, the top?”
He
said “Do you think you misused it?”
I
was floored. I never heard of anyone asking an author if they think they
misused a word. For some reason it made me laugh for 5 minutes.
He
said “maybe we better look it up, maybe you misused it.”
“Sure”
I said “look it up.”
But
when he read the dictionary definition to me, I swooned. Its meaning is so
beautiful and it means what I said about that womens liberation meeting that
night was so beautiful.
And
when he read me the next two sentences on the phone, I said “That is really
touching.” I hadn't realized I said anything touching about womens liberation
I
was happy with myself.
Then
he said “I see you always write altho instead of although
“Why
do you do that?”
I
said “I don't know, I did it since I started writing.”
“O
I see,” he said “it's an affectation.”
And
for some reason that made me giggle too. LOL it is another insult.
But
then the next day I called him and said “You know it could be a nice jazz
program. You read a little of my writing and then put a jazz musician with it.”
He
said “I'm walking out the door I'll call you tonight about it.”
But
he never called back and I don't know if he will.
But
yesterday evening when I was wondering if he will call back about it, I thought
“I wonder if he will do another segment for his show of 'Insult the Author.'”
It
just seemed so funny that the way he had “interviewed” me for my little womens
lib book was by insulting me.
Of
course it wasn't a real interview but I still thought “if he does call back I
will tease him about his Insult the Author segments.”
And
that made me laugh.
Well
it is bright sunshine outside. I have no idea what I will do today.
But
maybe I will schlep my comforter out into the sunshine.
I
wish you all a wonderful Sunday.
Love and kisses Annie
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