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| I found this photo on Facebook this morning. It is taken by Michael Magann. I love it. |
Saturday
morning 8 am 2/16/13
My
life hasn't really changed, altho my spirits have gone back up
I
drive a little in my own neighborhood with Jim before swimming
Then
Jim picks me up after his club and drives me home
He
has been teasing me a lot about my driving on the way home, imitating how I do
it, which is fine, I love laughing at myself
I
got a lot of frozen dinners last time I was at Fry’s supermarket, so we just go
home fast with no stops along the way. He drops me off.
I
put one of the frozen dinners in microwave
and
if it is warm outside, I schlep my comforter and pillow to the ground next to
the outside couch
And
have my lunch and orange soda out there and my cigs too
Sometimes
I fall asleep and wake up when I feel the chilly air on my legs
At
about 3 in the afternoon I come inside, my cats like to be fed, and I check my
email and see if you girls have written anything
If
you have I respond
For
some reason there are rarely any emails except the ones from you girls
I
guess you are my main connection to the world now
I
hang out at the computer for an hour, then schlep my comforter and pillow back
in
Put
up the coffee for the next day, turn on the lights,
and
set up the little room next to my computer room for another long evening and
night of being with my thoughts
That
still seems to be my main activity, which took the place of TV
Last
night it occurred to me maybe this is all healing for me
After
all there are a lot of bad thoughts.
It
did occur to me in the middle of last evening (which went on forever)
"maybe my goal is just to relax in the middle of this."
Another
idea I had at some point, is "maybe this is my chance to see everything I
have overlooked."
I
love you
I
wish you all a wonderful Saturday
hugs and kisses, Annie
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