My thoughts are changing

red tailed hawk

Email  early morning  March 6^th

Well I'm beginning to see some benefits from that few weeks of relentless time with my thoughts.

Last night when I scared myself about some scenario which could have happened in the past.

At some point I realized "but that is not what did happen," and I was able to quit the whole upsetting train of thought.

It was like before I had the past present and future all in a mush in my mind.

During the relentless time I did finally come to a point where I began to discern.

I would say "that was in the past, it is over."

It's not that upsetting experiences in the past did not upset me again remembering them.

But at some point I wanted to save myself from the whole upsetting ride which went with remembering them.

I recognized the thought or memory which set it all off, and immediately tried to get my mind to swerve in a different direction.

By the end there was a sign there, caution dangerous driving ahead.

More and more I think that whole period was about how I deal with my thoughts. To try to find a better way.

And in some ways there is a wiping the slate clean when it comes to seeing other people. I see them with fresh eyes now. And I see them more in the now too.

Maybe that is what renewal of life means. A chance to look at things with fresh eyes, and the past dropping out of the picture.

Love and kisses Annie