I Go Before the Judge

painting by Slawek Gruca

It was odd interesting intense crazy and something I don’t want to do again.

I didn’t spend the week before rehearsing what I was going to say to the judge because I had already done that back in February when the date on the summons said show up in court on February 28th.

I thought I was going to go before the judge then. And for weeks before, I went thru scenarios in my mind of what I would say to the judge.

But when I showed up at traffic court at 8 AM the clerk said “Do you want to pay your fines now, go to traffic school or have a hearing?”

I said “I want a hearing.”

So she said “Go home and you will get in the mail the date set for your hearing. It will arrive within 2 weeks.”

And sure enough 2 weeks later the letter arrived in the mail saying my hearing was set for April 30th at 2:30 PM.

Since it was almost 2 months away I put it out of my mind. Memorized the date, April 30^th, and tacked it up on my bulletin board.

I didn’t bring it back into my mind till April was well advanced. The week before I looked on my calendar and saw that it was a Tuesday.

And that morning when Jim was driving me to the pool I said, “A week from today is my day in court. It’s in the afternoon so we can swim in the morning and you can take me to court in the afternoon.”

And from that moment on I was aware of going to court the following week.

But I didn’t go back to rehearsing what I was going to say. Instead I just thought about logistics.

I thought Jim doesn’t have to sit with me all thru it, he can go swim at his club and pick me up when it’s over. I just have to bring quarters for the public telephone and tell him to pick up his messages in case he is swimming when his phone rings.

When the weekend before it arrived, I did start to go to it in my mind, and start saying in my mind what I will say to the judge.

But I really didn’t want to do that again. So instead I connected to Judge John in my mind, let him love me. And he said I don’t have to do that, he will tell me what to say at the time.

So every time my mind went back to it, I nipped it in the bud, and switched over to just letting him love me.

And the evening before my Higherigher SelfH Self said to me, “Anne the outcome doesn’t matter. Whether you have to pay the fine or not doesn’t matter. It is a great opportunity for you to go there and send love to everyone. You can bless the court by sending love to everyone. That is all you have to do and that is all that matters.”

So that relaxed me. After all sending love in my mind is my favorite thing to do anyway, and easy as pie, and I was relieved to find out the outcome didn’t matter at all.

The young lady officer who had given me all that trouble, had a partner, a man who looked about 10 years older than her and a lot more experienced.

He had been the one who handed me the two tickets. The first one because my learners permit had expired, “This is for driving without a license,” he said.

And the second for driving in the bike lane.

And with it a tiny printed up pamphlet which explained about the tickets.

Which Jim immediately began to study.

He said “I can’t find driving in bike lane on here, you have to look it up on your computer.

“But for expired license, they take the fine away if you show the judge you have a new license.”

So the next morning he took me down to DMV so I could take my written test again and get a new learners permit.

I hadn’t expected I would have to take that test again, Jim kept insisting “they will just extend it for you.”

But he was wrong, I did have to take it again.

So on the spot I took it again.

I was allowed 6 wrong answers, but I got 7 wrong answers so I flunked.

Jim got a new copy of the drivers manual for me and as soon as I got home I read it from beginning to end.

The next morning we went back and I took it again. It was totally suspenseful for me. After 6 wrong answers I knew I couldn’t get another one. But instead of praying I got it right, I just prayed that I wouldn’t cry if I got it wrong.  “Big deal!” I said to myself, “all it would mean is I have to come back tomorrow and take it again.”

Of course I really didn’t want to, but neither was I going to ruin my happiness over it.

But by a miracle and all my guesses I did pass. I was elated and Jim took me swimming.

I had my new learners permit and could show it to the judge so that ticket would be taken away.

A week or 2 later when it was so cold and dreary being in the swim pool and Jim wasn’t coming for another 1/2 hour I sat in the waiting room of the Y going thru my purse.

This is before I went to court the first time.

I found my two tickets at the bottom of my purse and the little pamphlet with them the man officer had given me.  And looked up both my violations in the pamphlet.

For driving without a license it said $70.  But if you show the judge you have a valid license the judge will take away your fine.

I could not find driving in the bike lane on it.

Jim told me to look it up on the computer because he hadn’t found it there either.  But I couldn’t find it on the computer either.

When I went to court the first time, the clerk said do I want to pay the tickets, go to traffic school or have a hearing. 

“How much are both tickets together?” I asked. I thought if driving without a license is only $70 probably driving in the bike lane will be $35. 

But she said “both come to $340.” 

So I said “I want a hearing.”

I did the arithmetic after I left her and realized they were going to charge me $270 for the bike lane.

I wanted to show her my new learners permit, but she said “show it to the judge.”

My Afternoon in Court

Jim dropped me off in front of the court house a little before 1:30 and my Higher Self said “tell him to pick you up at 3:15.” 

Jim said fine, he will meet me right here where he dropped me off.

“Fine,” I said.

I wanted to get there an hour before my case was called so I could get my bearings and be familiar with everything before my own case.

I found going thru the metal detector and being wanded lots of fun.  To me it is like a game.  And the guard told me, “Look on the door outside Information to find out where to go.”

There was my name, but to my shock it said Judge Karen Smith.  I wondered who Judge John was that I had been sharing so much love with in my mind.  I felt like I had to start from scratch now.

It said Second Floor Courtroom 9. So I walked up the steps and found Court Room 9.   It seemed like a sleepy almost empty room.

There was the girl judge up in front.  She had blond hair and looked like a nice woman.  The law clerk next to her.  And less than a handful of people sitting there.

I was very early and sat at the edge of one bench near the door. And began sending love in my mind to the judge and to everyone there. The clock did not seem to move at all.

Finally she called the first case.  A cop sat down on one side, a young man on the other side.  The cop said he did not obey the sign.  The young man said the sign could not be seen.  It had happened at night and he showed pictures to the judge to prove the sign could not be seen.

The judge said “I am going to take these pictures with me and study it for consideration.  You will hear tomorrow.”

Next came a cop with a lady.  He said she had driven thru a stop sign.  She said “I was not driving, it was my friend who was driving.”

She actually proved this to the judge, and she dismissed her case.

Then the judge said to me “Your Officer is a little late.  We are waiting for him.”

So I knew the cop was coming and my case would not be dismissed because no cop showed up. Which is what I had secretly hoped for.

So then the judge left by a door next to the bench.  And all that was left in the room was a couple sitting together and the law clerk.  And I went back to sending love to the judge and to everyone.

The clock did not seem to move altho two cops arrived and sat in the special area for cops.

I went back to sending love and wondered if that clock would ever move.  I looked around and was surprised to see art all over the walls.  Framed paintings. 

The judge did not reappear.  I tried to focus on sending love but it was still almost 2 hours before Jim was supposed to pick me up.  I was sure I would get out so early and wondered about a long time waiting for him

I went back to sending love in my mind to the judge and to everyone in the court room, but it all felt so quiet and sleepy there that my eyes started to close over. 

I caught myself and began to focus on sending love again when suddenly I jerked fully awake.  My own cop had appeared.  

I had assumed the man cop her partner would be the one, but it was HER!  I hadn’t realized I hated her till I  saw her again for the first time in court. She had been very mean to me in every possible way.

She looked so tall, with such long legs, and without her cap, had very pretty chestnut wavy hair down to her collar.

And she looked nervous.  Not like all the other cops.  And was in a light grey uniform, not in their dark blue one, and did not look heavily armed as they did. But maybe I didn’t see her gun.

As soon as she arrived my praying began in earnest.  I now had a real purpose for sending love,  I wanted to take away the hate in my mind.   

I moved over on the bench so a pillar obstructed my view of her, and her view of me.  And I just focused on sending love to her.  I did that for quite a while till I was completely harmonious with her in my mind.  And then I sent love to her and the judge. 

And to my surprise I heard her let out a little cough.  She did it two times.  I knew what that cough meant.  Her mind was responding to all that love. 

I was surprised that she was the only one who responded to all the love I had been steadily sending out since I arrived.  The judge, the clerk, the cops, the other people who had been waiting for their cases, the couple who still was— no one had responded.  Only Officer Jeffries, my arresting officer, responded.

I realized she must be a sensitive girl.

Finally the judge returned.  And called my case.  We both stood up and raised our right hand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,  Which I fully intended to do and which I did.

Officer Jeffries spoke first.  She identified herself. And said she has been on the force since December 2012.  So she had been a cop for just weeks when she stopped me. That explained why she had done such a botched job in every way.  She had no experience and no natural talent for the job to boot.

And she is so young, she looked around 23 or 24 the most.

Officer Jeffries testified to the judge that I had been driving nearly a mile in the bike lane and when she stopped me the first thing she asked me was “why was I driving in the bike lane?”  And that I had answered “I feel safe driving in the bike lane.”  

All of this is hooey and never happened

As I told the judge when it was my turn to talk, “I am learning how to drive.  I am now expert at driving around my own residential neighborhood but am just learning how to drive in traffic. 

“I had decided to drive to the mini Post Office which is in the residential neighborhood across Speedway Boulevard.

“I waited till there was no traffic coming in the opposite direction, signaled that I was going to turn, but when I looked in my mirror cars were bearing down on me. 

“This kept happening, so finally I signaled right, changed lanes and pulled into the bike lane, first looking to see there were no bikes.  So I could stop and figure out what I was going to do.  All I wanted was to get out of everyone’s way.

“However the instant I pulled into the bike lane my friend said ‘there is a cop behind you.’  I looked in the mirror and sure enough there was. 

“I thought the cops would stop me, but instead they kept following me in the bike lane.  I had no idea why the cops wanted me to keep driving in the bike lane.  Finally they signaled that I should pull over into a driveway behind a building and I did.

“She never asked me why I was in the bike lane.  All she said to me is ‘license and registration please.’  She discovered my learners permit had expired. 

“Then I had to sit there for a very long time.  And then the man cop got out and gave me two tickets, one for driving in the bike lane, and one for expired license.

“I went down the next day and took the written test all over again and got a new learners permit. Here is my new learners permit. Do you want to see it?”  

“No I don’t,” the judge said, “You can show it to the officer if you like.” 

I was so surprised.

Jim had told me 100 times to make sure I have my new license with me to show the judge so I would not have to pay that fine. As if I would have forgotten to bring it!

So Officer Jeffries obediently held out her hand to see my new learners permit.  Looked at it and handed it back to me.  It made no sense to me.

Then the judge asked her about my testimony.  And Officer Jeffries said, “What she said is exactly what happened.”

I was gratified.

So then the judge said I had to pay $195 the fine for driving in the bike lane because I was driving in the bike lane.  I said “OK.”

Then she said I have to pay the fine for driving without a valid license. 

“When do you think you will get your drivers license?” she said to me. 

I thought and said “Maybe around same time the monsoons come.”  (In Tucson that is July 4^th.)

She said, “You can come back then and show it to me and you won’t have to pay the fine.”  

I said, “Maybe I will just pay the $70 and get it over with. I’ll pay both fines now.  All I want is to learn how to drive.  I don’t want to come to court again.  How much do both fines come to?”

She said, “Driving in the bike lane is 195 and driving without a license is 205.” 

I said, “But I got my new learners permit.  I got it the day afterwards.”

At that point the judge got very sympathetic but also thought I was a total idiot.  She tried every which way to Sunday to explain to me that I needed a drivers license to drive. 

I kept trying to say the pamphlet the officer gave me said 70 dollars and I went down the next day and I have my new learners permit.

When she tried to say again I need a drivers license to drive, I interrupted her.  I said, “I know I need a drivers license to drive.  I am not stupid!”

I didn’t even try again to find out why it was 205 instead of 70 like the pamphlet said.

By now she was totally sympathetic and on my side just thought she was dealing with a jerk.

She said, “I understand you are learning how to drive, maybe you should go to a professional driving school rather than have your friend teach you.

“I’ll tell you what I’ll do.  I’ll give you till August 30^th to get your license.  And if you need more time just call me.”

She was such a darling and trying to be so sweet to me.  I wanted to say “I love you.”  Instead I just mouthed the words.  I didn’t think you were allowed to say “I love you” out loud to a judge at court.

So I went to the clerk so he could do the paperwork for me.  He had everything that was especially pertinent blocked out in yellow. He too like the rest of the court room— Judge Karen, Officer Jeffries, the policemen waiting in the box. And the people who had arrived while my case was going on— all thought I was the biggest idiot in the western world.

But I didn’t care. I knew in my heart of hearts it was good for me to have a deadline to get my real drivers license. And the deadline the judge had given me was a good deadline.  I actually was in a great mood and loved everyone.

I thought it was a great outcome. I even teased Officer Jeffries as she was standing up in the witness box. “Stay out of my neighborhood!” I said to her. “Stay away from me!  If you see me, pretend you don’t!”

And I giggled and went down to pay my fine.

I was surprised to see that it was ten after 3.  I guess my case had taken a long time. 

I was completely merry and happy.  It was all over and I thought it was a good outcome. The law clerk had told me to go to the Information Room downstairs to pay my fine

I asked the girl at the desk “how do I pay my fine?”  She gave me a number and said, “it will take one minute for you to be called.”

And sure enough after one minute, I was called to Window 17.

I got out my credit card and paid the 195 for driving in the bike lane.  And then I giggled to the girl about how I have till August 30th to get my regular license.  I showed her that paper work. I said how the judge said call her if I want more time.

“What is her phone number?” 

She said, “We don’t have it, you’d have to come down here for that.”

“It’s not worth it to me,” I said. “It’s more better for me to get my license by August 30^th.  Can I just show it to you or will I have to show it to the judge?”  She said I can show it to her.

I believed her and thought, well then everything is perfect. 

“Great!” I said.

I was laughing the whole time.  I have no idea why I was in such an up mood.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:15 on the dot.  I walked out and there was a hot dog man right there.  Sitting in one hard chair in the shade with another chair right next to him. 

Jim was not there.  I was so thirsty and just wanted a cigarette.  “Do you have sodas?” I asked.

 “Yes,” he said. 

“What soda do you want?”

He opened up his cooler, all the cans of sodas on ice. 

“I wanted a Coke, that seemed perfect after a whole day in court, but I see you have Pepsi.  That is fine.” 

“I have a Coke,” he said.

And handed it to me. 

“How much?” I said. 

“One dollar,” he said. 

I got out 2 dollar bills.  I handed him one for the soda, and another one saying, “After a day in court I want luck.  This is for you.”  He was happy to get it. 

I looked at the chair right next to him in the shade. “Can I sit here and smoke a cigarette while waiting for my friend to pick me up?”  

“Of course,” he said.

He was such a nice short Mexican man. Just who you want to see after your afternoon in court.

I was just about to sit comfortably down next to this lovely man, with my soda in my hand and my cigarettes in my purse when Jim drove up.

 I got in the car with my unopened can of Coke and sat next to him. 

“Well you missed a great show,” I said to him. “They all think I am a total idiot.  I finally had to tell the judge I’m not stupid and I told Officer Jeffries to stay out of my neighborhood. And I have to get my drivers license by August 30^th or pay $205. 

“OK” Jim said, “we’ll start practicing your tushy turns tomorrow.” (They got to be called tushy turns because I first tried to learn it in the pool, stretching out my arms and turning my tushy).

“OK” I said.

It took me forever to calm down from my experience.

Altho my Higher Self said, “You did spectacular Anne.  You gave love to everyone plus you gave them all a great show.”

But when I woke up the next morning all I could think was “how could I have made such an idiot of myself in court!”