My Higher Self Interprets my Dream

Prairie dogs kiss

April 6^th  early morning

  Before I woke up this morning I had long dream about Susan Epstein who was my best friend before I left NYC.  In the dream I was back in her apt. in NYC. She was talking on the telephone. I don’t know if she was aware I was there.

She was having a long conversation with what appeared like very close friend who shared her life with her. In my dream Susan did all the talking.

(In real life she won’t return my phone calls and is not on email.)  

In the dream at first I was miffed that she won’t talk to me on the phone. I thought “Aha she tells me she doesn’t like to talk on the telephone. But now I see with my own eyes she does like long conversation on the phone. So it is just me that she doesn’t want to hang out with on the phone."

But then I realized “So what if she doesn’t want to talk to me on the phone, I am hearing everything she wants to say anyway. I get to hear it all because I am here listening. So it is just as well. I am getting the long phone call this way.”

And I did find every bit of her phone call interesting. Not because of anything particular she said, I just wanted to hear her express herself.

Maybe I was staying over at her house. I know when it was time for me to leave I looked all over for my pink swim bag.

Susan didn’t seem to be aware that I was there. I hadn’t wanted to make my presence known.

I was in another room listening to her phone call.

But I had to interact with her when I couldn’t find my swim bag. I had to show myself. I tried to describe it to her. “It is pink with a pink ballerina on it.”

We both looked all over but it was nowhere to be found. “OK” I thought, “I will go back without it, but too bad I like that swim bag. I used it. What will I use now to put my wet bathing suit in after my shower.”

But then to my surprise it showed up in her car as I was leaving. I was so surprised because I didn’t think I had taken it to the car. I didn’t think she had a car.

But I was glad to see it and take it back. I was glad to have found it.

The reason I came out of my hiding place and into view is I wanted to say to her, “Now that we are both so slender now­”— (she had been fat when I last saw her in NYC before I moved to Tucson and I had gotten fat in Tucson. But I looked at her now, she might even be slenderer than me and I have gotten slender myself)-- I said “We can trade clothes. You give me what you no longer want to wear and I will give you my clothes. It will be fun for both of us.”

Altho it occurred to me that maybe she is dieting because I heard her say how she can’t wait to have her apple turnover tomorrow. I am not dieting, I got slim because I eat so little now.

But I eat whatever I want whenever I want. I deny myself nothing.

Interpretation of dream by my Higher Self

(I take down her words as she communicates them to me)

This is actually an important dream Anne had.

Altho she forgot to put in the last part. In her dream at the very end Susan was concerned if she ran out of money where would she live.

Susan’s friend said “you can live with me.” And Anne said “I have a big house now with a lot of rooms. And I am used to living with someone. When I lived in it with Bill it wouldn’t have worked if you lived with us too. But now you are more than welcome to come live in it with me whenever you want.

“Altho if you want your own place, I have a huge backyard if you are willing to live in a trailer. A trailer would be the same size as your little apartment now. We could put your trailer in a beautiful spot way in the back of my backyard and you could have your own home there.”

In fact that is the real reason Anne came out of hiding and made her appearance known to Susan. She wanted to offer Susan her home if for some reason Susan did not have her home in NYC.

Since Anne read in her Letter from God yesterday that everyone you meet or encounter in the world is really yourself and how you get to know yourself, then obviously Susan is Anne.

She is seeing herself projected outwards.

Susan is the emblem of Anne’s New York self. Susan is the quintessential New Yorker. She is gregarious. She is talkative. She is communicative. She has close friends. They talk about their lives together. They share everything. They like expressing themselves.

Anne sees that Susan has a nice bag but she wants her own pink ballerina bag back. She loves the pink ballerina bag and uses it all the time. It is also practical.

At first when Anne can’t find it anywhere she thinks she lost it and will have to do without it but then by miracle it shows up in Susan’s car.

This is quite a stretch since she has never been in Susan’s car plus in real life Susan does not even have a car.

So it counts as a miracle. Something precious and loved; something wonderful and beautiful and pink. With a ballerina on it, is found. What was lost is found.

The beautiful ballerina sailing thru the air with her legs outstretched.

The important thing of course is Anne’s generosity to Susan. Her offer of gifts. “We are the same size now, I can give you my clothes. Even if you lose your home you can have a home with me. Either share my house or I can make you a home of your own in my beautiful backyard in the midst of beautiful nature.

With trees and the bird song.

And peace and quiet.

My darling Anne I know this has been a very rough week for you. Easter Sunday which always was your favorite holiday, instead of it being a day in paradise, was a total bitch for you. And the next day was tough too.

Then you had your happy day in beautiful paradise. And then 3 days which were so tough they bordered on misery. And those 3 days were the days of your birthday. The day before your birthday, the day of your birthday, the day after your birthday.

So the idea of Happy Easter and Happy Birthday got ruined for you. No longer will you look forward to either one. Now you see both of them like Christmas, a day you just hope to get thru painlessly and will be so glad when it is finally over and so relieved it only arrives once a year.

LOL holidays are ruined for you.

But my darling try to see that all your love devotion appreciation and generosity and consideration of Susan actually means a new relationship with yourself.

Honeybunch this is really what has been going on since 2013 arrived and all the misery it brought you. It is how the renovation of your relationship with yourself has been taking place.

All those days in bed too uncomfortable to do anything. And a mind as gray as the gray sky when beautiful sparkling Tucson turns gray.

The reason a gray sky in Tucson is much grayer than anywhere else is because that dense gray cloud cover blocks out a sun that is brighter than anywhere else.

The change in illumination is so much greater. It is such dramatic change. The contrast is so great. That is why it seems so dark to you and why you long so much to have your bright light back.

The bright light is your happiness. You are now used to swimming in and walking in happiness.

But even you must realize that your beautiful desert would dry up while waiting for the summer monsoon to bring it its water, its life, there have to be some cool moist days, which is what the cloud cover brings.

And for you all these days of cloud covered mind, and the discomfort which gets you off your feet and under the covers all day, is when your soul searching takes place.

And how can a complete renovation of your relationship with yourself happen, without all this time of you under the covers so your soul can do all this work it must do. It has big job to do. And it is doing it. And be very thankful for it.

It is great gift your soul is doing for you.

Which it tried to show you in your dream. It offered you pretty clothes to wear. A beautiful home to live in. And a wonderful friend who you love and adore.

So let’s just be patient and easy going. To the best of your ability. Whatever time your soul needs, let it take its time. However it wants to accomplish it, let it do it her way.

Honey we are talking about your soul, and this is the time of and for your soul. It is her day.

Just know every instant no matter how much day after day follows which is not to your liking, that the greatest gift in the world is now taking place for you now.

If you can’t be grateful (which is too much to ask, who can be grateful for day upon day of lousy days!)

But you can see it in truth. And know that something amazing and wonderful is taking place and a great gift is being given you. And you will reap all the happiness from it.

God bless you my sweet darling and God bless everyone you know and encounter and the whole world too.

I love you.

Your Higher Self.