At The Beach

At the beach (painting by Bill Pyne)

May 27th, third day of Memorial Day Weekend

I woke up this morning and was looking for something in the saved folder of my email. I don’t remember now what it was. I came across this tiny dream I had written down two months ago. I had forgotten all about it. I didn’t remember the dream or that I had written it down.  

I read it this morning when I woke up and it interested me. I decided to ask my Higher Self to interpret it for me. And I found what She said very interesting.

Here is the little dream.  And after that my Higher Self’s interpretation of it this morning.

Dream Friday March 23rd

I dreamt Bill and I were back in Old Forge. I said to Bill “we might as well buy a house here.”

At first naturally I wanted one in the countryside but then I realized how nice to be able just to walk to any store you want. So I said “we will get one in town.”

Then I went for coffee for both of us. I guess we were on the beach. Because I thought it was a long walk to Rudy’s.

So I tried that little snack shop right on the beach.

I thought to myself “here is where it all started” when I first walked in.

Sure enuf they were open, they served coffee.

But I forgot to bring money. I only had nickel and penny.

“I’ll be right back” I said to the woman behind the counter.

“Meanwhile make two coffees light and sweet.”

But when I went to find Billy I could not find him.

I had said to her “he is on blanket on the beach.”

But I guess I entered the wrong part.

I kept calling his name loud, hoping he would answer.

Interpretation by my Higher Self (I take down her words as she says them to me)

Anne had this dream a week after her second year without Bill had started.  She was scared when she saw on the calendar that the anniversary of his “change of address” was a week away. She thought “is it going to be emotional and intense for me. Will I cry.”

She hadn’t cried at the time it happened. Because I had lifted her up to a place so happy and high and love filled that tears were out of the question, sadness was out of the question. 

There was only the great adventure of a brand new life starting this instant.

But of course some tears came later. Usually in the evening. When she was lying in her backyard under the stars.

She knew he was perfectly happy, happier than he had ever been, she knew it was just a change of address. And they were in constant communication. His love for her was constant and increased. 

She was never away from his love but it seemed unbearable he wasn’t in the house with her. She did not want to be unhappy and I did not want her to be unhappy, So it only lasted a moment, that sob under the stars at night.

Instantly she would turn to me to be lifted up back into happiness again. Which I was able to do by tenderly and lovingly explaining everything to her. It was usually an hour. It was a long talk. 

It began off with an instant of suspense because Anne could see no way she could be lifted from such depth of unhappiness to high and happy place. 

But there is nothing I cannot do.

For me it is easy as pie. In less than an instant I had her drinking in my love and listening eagerly to my explanation. And by the time it was over she was higher and happier than she had ever been. And at perfect peace.

No one believed Anne when she told them she never lost her happiness when she lost Bill. But she was telling them the truth. 

She had found the way to hold onto her happiness. And I was the way. 

But of course two years later with her happiness assured, it had been two years of happiness, she was so secure about her happiness, and so relaxed into it, she assumed she would be open to any sadness which came her way on the two year anniversary. 

It never occurred to her there would be no sadness at all. But that is exactly what happened. None came to her.

And this is the dream she had before she woke up a week later.

Old Forge in Anne’s dreams is the emblem of paradise.  It is where she spent her childhood summers and her experience of them had been paradise. 

The dream opens up with her and Bill in Old Forge together. The first thing she says is “let’s buy a house here.”  Meaning let’s make our home here. She assumes she wants one in the midst of beautiful nature. 

Bu then she is practical. She realizes she will want to walk to everything, so she switches and says “we’ll get a house in town instead.” 

This is OK.  It’s a more balanced choice.  After all it’s a tiny town, just a hamlet in the Adirondack mountains.  The little hamlet is in the midst of beautiful wilderness. 

She wants both, the beautiful forest and a lovely happy easy life filled with treats in the midst of it. Living in town is good idea. It means she has envisioned her life there. She is planning to settle down there.

They are on the town beach when this conversation takes place. The beach by the lake where Anne spent every year of her childhood summers.  She knows that beach and that lake by heart.

She is one with that beach, with that lake too. The water of that lake and the sand of that beach. The beach has a little snack bar right on it. When she was a kid it had a pinball machine and the teenagers were always at the pinball machine. And a counter where they sold food. And a juke box. 

It is where Anne heard Rock Around the Clock for the first time. She heard rock and roll for the first time in that snack bar. And Elvis Presley too she heard for the first time there. (Heartbreak Hotel)otel

Because of the pinball machine, the teenagers, and the juke box, it was always the emblem of the teen age world for Anne.  A world of beautiful gods and goddesses, who do what gods and goddesses do.  Play pinball, look beautiful, listen to the jukebox. And do teenage things.

Her one dream as a child was to be a teenager. And be a goddess herself and hang out with the other gods and goddesses and have all the fun that gods and goddesses have.

She never sat at that counter or bought anything at that counter. She only went in to play pinball with her cousin Richie.

The beach had another snack bar, much smaller, further up the rocks. She never bought anything there either but she once watched in fascination as the girl made a grilled cheese sandwich for someone on the grill.  It looked so delicious to Anne. And she never forgot all the steps the girl did.

But if you walked past that other snack bar which was on a hill.  Continue walking up the hill over the rocks you came to Rudy’s. And this is where Anne did spend a lot of time and bought things. 

Every afternoon she went there for her ice cream cone. And then went back to get an ice cream cone for her mom. 

And when the beach closed, the lifeguards went home and the tourists left, she and her cousin Richie looked around and under all the benches at the back of the beach, and in all the trash cans, to find bottles to return to Rudy’s for two cents. And Anne bought comic books and candy bars with her share of the money at Rudy’s.

She loved Rudy’s, it had everything a child wanted.

In the dream she is all grown up and wants a container of coffee for her and Bill. She wonders if the beach snack bar sells coffee, she has no idea, or if she will have to make the trek over the rocks to Rudy’s for it.

But to her happy surprise the beach snack bar does have it.

She walks in, she is back in it, everything is the same as it was, and her first thought is “this is where it all began.” She means her life and her dreams.

But she forgot to bring money with her. She sees she only has nickel and penny. She has to go back to her husband to get the money. She says “He is on the blanket.  I’ll be back right away.  Meanwhile make us the coffee, two containers light and sweet.”

But she can’t find him. She realizes she entered a different part of the beach. She calls his name loudly, so he can wave her over to him.  But the dream ends with her calling his name loudly.

She has lost Bill. The snack bar stands for the world. After all her whole experience as a child was the lake and the beach. 

The snack bar was for teenagers. It was a teenage hang out. It stood for everything the world has to offer, but you have to be a teenager to have it. In fact being a teenager is what the world offers.

Anne couldn’t wait to be a teenager and have all that too. LOL she thought quintessential paradise was the future. She had stars in her eyes all the time about the future.

Her glorious future.

And while it is true when you did enter that paradise of being a teenager, you can never find your way back to the pure happiness you had as a child. The world and being a teenager turned out not to be fun at all, happiness is the happiness you had. It doesn’t get better than that. 

So Anne walks in and thinks “this is where it all began.”  Meaning this is where I first dreamed of the world and wanted so much to be in it.

Obviously in the dream, altho she is not aware of it, she and Bill are hanging out in Heaven together. She plans to settle down with him there. “We’ll buy a house here” she says.

She goes to get them coffee.  Light and sweet.

But she enters the world and can’t find him again.  Because he is not in the world. 

Poor little Anne. She doesn’t realize this. And thinks by calling his name loudly, he will hear her and call her over. But that’s not the way it works. She won’t find him in the world. Because they weren’t in the world. 

Darling the world is one place in your mind, Heaven is another. Honeybunch you were just looking in the wrong part of your mind for him. Of course you will be back with Bill.  It’s impossible he be taken from you. 

But honeybunch you will have to find the place in your mind where he is and you are too, and where you are always together, to be back with him. And eventually you will find that place.  Even if you haven’t found it yet.

I love you

Your Higher Self