 |
| Recent painting by Layla Edwards my friend and Tucson artist |
Sunday morning
8:08 am January 13, 2013
Today is my big cousin
Carl’s birthday. He was born in 1941 so
today he is 72 years old. And last week
my friend Helen turned 70 and so did Sue my best friend from college.
All the friends of my
youth are turning 70 now, we knew each other since we were all young
chickadees.
We were the baby boom
and the new young generation. We were
the Sixties. That miraculous decade
which brought forth everything new and wonderful. We turned the world upside down.
And then we went on to
live our lives. None of us had easy
lives, altho maybe no one does. But we
sure went thru every up and down under
the sun. We went thru it all and came out the other end.
Now we are all sitting
pretty. We fulfilled all the dreams we didn’t know we had. My generation was sent to earth to accomplish
a mission, and accomplish it we did.
We were sent to earth
to bring love to our sweet planet and to every living being on it. To demonstrate that love is the only reality.
LOL to accomplish our
mission we had to go thru every gateway of hell. We all hit bottom. We all had the bottom fall out of our
life.
And then after we cried
uncle, or more specifically “please God help me,” we were able to crawl
back.
But it was 25 years
more of being knocked over on a regular basis.
Of having to withstand what was thrown at us. Till the point came when
we could withstand anything.
We became super
beings. Hahaha we were angels in
training. It turns out this is the
training course for angels.
First you are knocked
flat on your fanny, or more specifically crying your heart out on your kitchen
floor and calling to God for help. And
then the 25 year training course, which I can only describe as hell.
But of course it is not
all hell. No one can live 25 years in hell.
It is bouts of hell in between smooth sailing. You are sailing along and
think “whew I am glad that is behind me,” when next thing you know there is
another tornado another hurricane.
More storms you don’t
think you will weather. And then the
dove flies around with the olive branch in her sweet mouth and you know it is
safe to come out again.
And then finally the
era of storms actually does come to an end.
Not that you ever really trust it tho.
But it is over and for
four solid years you just have the regular ups and downs of life. Life is normal.
And then a new whammy
comes out of nowhere, out of nowhere and for no reason at all, your husband is
in Heaven instead of in the house on Baker Street with you.
And then begins a brand
new life. The very last thing you expect, a brand new life.
You haven’t had a brand
new life since you were 25 years old and met your husband, he moved in with
you.
After that for 40 years
your life was you and your husband, and your animals. First your kitties, then your dogs, then both
kitties and dogs.
And now here I am again
with just two kitties. The same as I was
when I first met my husband. The same as
I was when Bill walked into my life and changed it forever. Everything my life was for 40 years was what
Bill brought into my life.
He gave me a great
life. He gave me my storms, he gave me
all my happiness, he gave me dogs, he gave me my writing, he gave me Tucson, he
gave me the Tucson swim pools. He gave
me the storms which brought me to God.
Everything I had and
have now I owe to him. If I am a totally
new person now with a totally new life I owe it all to him.
Even my best friend Jim
who helps me with everything now, I owe to Bill. Jim was his best friend. And Frank who helps me with everything, I owe
to Bill. Frank was his friend from
across the street.
Billy’s two friends are
the ones who help me now, are my two best friends. I would be lost without them. And they take perfect care of me. Exquisite
care you could say.
I am a very fortunate
girl.
But now it is a brand
new life without Bill, 22 months of my brand new life.
The thrill of having a
brand new life has worn off, it now feels normal to be having a brand new
life.
And the bizarreness of
having a life without Bill has worn off too.
I no longer wake up each morning thinking “how utterly bizarre it is
that Bill is not in the house with me!”
It is like life is a
running fast river now. From the instant
I wake up each morning, the running fast river of life starts.
And I am just rafting
on it, or floating on my back, or swimming with it.
It doesn’t seem to
matter much which I do, the running fast river carries me along, doing what it
wants to do, takes me where it wants to take me.
And I pass all kinds of
sights as I swim by or float by, or get tangled in the weeds or go over water
falls and pass thru rapids.
Or look out at
beautiful fields of flowers and just drink in the sight. Look up at blue skies and hawks circling
overhead.
Sometimes it is a dream
come true and I can’t believe my happiness.
Sometimes I keep bumping into rocks hidden under the water.
But no matter what the
river keeps flowing with me in it or on it, this very fast moving river which
our planet is on these days.
We are all, each in our
own way, on the adventure of a lifetime.
So be it
And so God bless us all
All us sweet darlings
on the great adventure of life
Love Annie
No comments:
Post a Comment